As you can probably imagine there are five little words uttered by 90% of the brides who come into our shop. These are the same five little words that give us nightmares and make us want to bang our heads against a brick wall in despair. Not least in despair for the Emmeline Pankhursts of our day, or even in despair for the future career of Gok Wan, but in despair for your fiancé who has asked to spend the rest of his life with you just the way you are.
Have you guessed what they are yet? Yes, that’s right – “I will be losing weight”!
It’s difficult to write this while sighing with my head in my hands but I’ll give it a go. When your fiancé proposed he didn’t say “if you lose a few pounds will you marry me?” (If he did you should have said NO!) So why would you want to change? And you’re not on your own – regardless of whether a bride is a size 4, 14 or 24 she will always talk about weight loss as if weight and weddings go hand in hand, and I think I’ve shown that they do, but my point is that they shouldn’t!
When you mention the word ‘wedding’ to a bride a switch goes off in her brain that screams “WEIGHT LOSS! WEIGHT LOSS! I’ll join a gym. I might try zumba. How many calories are there in an ice cube?” Ladies, please, if you won’t believe your fiancé please believe me – you don’t need to lose weight to walk down the aisle!
Let me explain what happens to you brides when you insist you will be losing weight (from a bridal shop perspective at least):
- You will be choosing a dress based on the body shape you will be, not on the body shape you are.
- You will be super critical of yourself as you have taken it upon yourself to shame your own body.
- You will want to leave it as long as possible to order your dress until the inevitable happens and you are unable to order your favourite dress as you’ve ran out of time.
- You will refuse to order your dress in your current size, you will peruse the sizing chart and instruct your consultant to order you the next size down.
- When your dress comes in and it is one size too small you will feel very deflated and blame your consultant for ordering in the smaller size while also expecting her to come up with a solution.
Yes, I have been that consultant, and no, there is no easy solution. Unless I haven’t made it clear already – YOU DON’T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! But, if, IF, you do decide to lose weight before your wedding do it for yourself and not because “weddings = weight loss” because they don’t. If you are going to lose weight before your wedding be realistic, choose a dress that suits your body shape now as well as your shape a few months down the line. But most of all own your size! Look at the sizing chart and listen to your consultant, once you’ve made your dress size decision, own it!
To the brides who have no intention of losing weight before the wedding please don’t tell us that you will be just because it’s the done thing. The only way we can stop women feeling insecure on their wedding day is to stop pandering to the stereotype.
I haven’t weighed myself in years and I don’t intend to start now. Whenever I’m feeling image conscious I always remember this: weighing scales only measure the numerical value of your gravitational pull, they will not measure how beautiful you are.